I was talking with a client the other day and I noticed that she kept talking about how complicated she was, how entrenched her thinking was and how hard it was for her to change. A lightbulb went off for me.
They had a saying for this in 12-step programs, they call it being “terminally unique”. Each person tends to think their own story is unique. They tell themselves (and us!) that their case is special, they are REALLY messed up, that their issues are the WORST. Which is really their way of convincing themselves they can’t change. The truth is, we all have stuff–big stuff and small stuff–our stories are nothing special. Like Byron Katie says, there are no new painful stories. What’s great about this is that once you are able to let go of being terminally unique, you can lose weight/stop drinking/change your life just like thousands of other people who have before you.
How would you eat, tune into your body and take care of yourself if you let go of being terminally unique?