You know, to perform, to be successful, to prevent bad things from happening, to lose weight.
When I finally got off the whirlwind I’ve been on for the past few weeks (Who am I kidding? It’s been months.) and looked around, I saw people putting tons of pressure on themselves: clients, friends, fellow coaches.
The belief is, “If I keep the pressure on, I’ll get what I want.”
Which translates to:
If I tell myself I’m fat and point out my flaws, I’ll lose weight.
If I beat myself up, I’ll do better.
If I worry enough, good things will happen.
If I do it perfectly, I will acceptable.
Can you see the problem here?
We say to ourselves,
Do bad/hard/heinous thing to get good thing.
Remember in school when you had to do equations and you learned that both sides of the equation have to balance or the world tilts on its axis or something? (Honestly I probably cut class that day.)
Same thing here.
We think the equation is:
What it really is:
I’m not going to get all math-y on you, what I’m trying to say is that we put the pressure on because we think that will get us what we want.
Doesn’t work, the equation is not balanced.
Here’s the part where your brain might explode a bit so grab a tissue to contain any unfortunate seepage, I’ll be here…
The key to your desired outcome is releasing the pressure.
Letting yourself off the hook.
Quitting the worrying.
Giving yourself a big ol’ break.
It’s making peace with yourself so you can lose weight.
It’s being kind to yourself so you do better.
It’s staying in the moment so you notice good things when they happen.
It’s doing it imperfectly and accepting yourself.
See? The equation balances.
And you get an A.
Want to practice releasing your pressure? I cooked up this handy worksheet you can download for free.