I’ve been struggling with having more fun. Sounds kind of weird, right? I mean after all, fun is fun. And, I’m someone who’s changed her whole life just to have more fun. I coach people about having more fun so I should be all over it, right? To top it off, I’m kind of a funny person so shouldn’t I be living in a perpetual state of FUN? Yeah, wasn’t exactly working out that way. Welcome to my work.
My coach-friends were actively coaching me on having more fun using great tools like making lists, making time for fun, exploring my beliefs around why I’m not having fun–all that stuff we know to do. None of it was sticking. And worse would be when one of them kindly asked, “What do you really WANT?’ That question was enough to make my brain seize up for days.
Then, with the help of another coach-friend, I accessed a higher source–call it Spirit, God, my Higher Self, Guides–I think of it primarily as a power greater than me; greater than my own mind. And what I found there was a very funny and kind message:
Fun is a four-letter word for me.
I was making the concept of “fun” mean a bunch of stuff. “Fun” had to rise to some impossible standard of good times, raucous laughter, excitement, or adrenaline rush. “Fun” was like a drug fix, a pleasure-seeking activity to give my brain a big ol’ hit of dopamine. Turns out “fun” was not what I was looking for. So when I tried to think of fun things, I would get nada–because nothing met this high yet crappy definition I was holding in my mind. I could redefine fun, but honestly that word and I had baggage, it just wasn’t going to work for me anymore.
Time for a new word.
I mean, OOOOOOH!
The word brought tears of joy to my eyes. Now I was onto it.
Delight is relaxing, it’s easy, it does not come with any standard. It just is. And it is fabulous for me. I can easily think of a TON of delightful things. And even better, my new question to go with my new word:
What would be delightful right now?
Turns out doing the dishes is delightful sometimes.
Writing this blog post is delightful.
Watching my dog Scruffy play with her new toy is totally delightful.
Funny email and Facebook exchanges–delightFULLLLL! (That’s me saying it like Oprah.)
Deleting emails I decided not to deal with because they didn’t feel delightful–delightful!
Afternoon Delight (the song and the concept)–delightful.
Turns out, I’m surrounded by delight. I do delightful things all day long. Now that I let go of this lofty concept of “fun,” I see the delight all around me. It was always there, I was just so busy seeking “fun” that I didn’t notice it. And even better, I’m using my super new question as my guide through the day–if it’s not delightful, I’m not doing it.