I was talking with a friend the other day about getting massages. She was hesitating to get one because she’s kinda hot for the massage therapist and was worried that she would see her cellulite and be grossed out. (Yes, girls who like girls worry about this stuff too.)
So I said, “Let me ask you this, do you care when you see some cellulite or other flaws on an attractive woman?”
She said, “No. It doesn’t even cross my mind to be honest. I don’t see any of it. I see their inner beauty and feel their energy.” [I contend she notices some outer beauty too. ;-)]
I replied, “We are all human. We have bumps and weird stuff–especially if we’ve been around for a while. It’s part of our humanness. You’re in the beautifully imperfect club too sister.”
Here’s the thing:
I am flawed.
You are flawed.
Physically, emotionally, mentally flawed.
Our thighs jiggle (Wouldn’t it be weird if they didn’t?), we fly off the handle, and sometimes we believe our horrible thoughts about ourselves are true.
It all goes awry when you believe that being a flawed human being means there’s something wrong with you.
I am here to tell you there is nothing wrong with you.
Contemplate that for a moment…
This is the point where most people shut down and say things like:
“If I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with me, then my thighs will always be big.”
“If I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with me, then I will fly off the handle again.”
“If I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with me, then how do I motivate myself to change so people will like me?”
Those thoughts are like saying, “Let me bring war to where I most want peace.” WTF??
Try these concepts on:
“If I believe there’s nothing wrong with me, I will respect my body as it is and want to take great care of it from that place of respect.”
“If I believe there’s nothing wrong with me, so the fuck what if I fly off the handle? I can sincerely apologize… or not. Because sometimes I lose my shit and that’s ok.”
“If I believe there’s nothing wrong with me, I may realize that my mom/boss/friend who’s the master of the backhanded compliment is just plain mean/crazy/a bitch. I may decide I like me enough to walk away from that crap.”
Notice that I didn’t say we are spiritually flawed. We are humans–flawed, vulnerable and beautiful for it. It is the totality of who we are, including what we think of as the flaws, that make us spiritually perfect.
That is why being kind, compassionate and respectful of yourself is a profoundly spiritual act.