That’s just me

I spent a lot of time in my life beating myself up for not being good enough. Trying to change myself to be a better version of me. Making myself wrong.

Then I learned that I can have my preferences. I learned that owning my preferences is better than shaming them and pushing them into the shadows where they manifest in really weird ways. It was so cool to learn that certain preferences, personality traits, quirks, and hell, just things I like, are perfectly ok to have. Now rationally I can see that you might be greeting this statement with some version of “duh,” but deeply accepting myself and being able to say, “That’s just me.” has changed my life.

These may not seem like a big deal to you, but they’ve all been a source of shame for me.
(I know, right! So mean.)
I crave excitement.
Boredom is a huge red flag for me.
I’m a commitment girl. If I love you, I’m all in.
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I want and need to be cherished and loved.
Sometimes I’m kind of a know-it-all–I apologize when I get too obnoxious about it.

That’s just me.
I love that about me.

Now you go.

14 comments on “That’s just me
  1. Helping people get to this level of acceptance about themselves is what I do, and I often feel like I should pay my clients instead of the other way around. I use astrology with coaching mostly, but it doesn’t really matter – there are 1,000 ways to figure out what qualities are just integral to a person and how to help her stop rejecting those qualities and learn to love them. That’s the flip side, too – how can you be *exactly who you are* but in the best possible way rather than the dysfunctional and unhappy way that most of us learn to be?

    So, for me – I’m incredibly intense. I have a REALLY BIG personality – pretty much everything I do gets done in ALL CAPS with lots of exclamation points, the good, the bad, and the ugly!!11!11!1!! Along with that, there is no hiding anything about me – if I think it or feel it, the world knows it. I have an unholy love of information and specifics and I can go into more detail than most people could ever know was possible. I introspect (and muck around in other people’s deep murky crap) because I find it fun.

    These are all things I’ve been terribly ashamed of a lot of my life, and received a ton of criticism for. I’ve spent a lot of useless angst trying to pretend to be a calm, sweet, agreeable, restrained person. *snort* Learning to “turn it around” and see the great strengths and gifts in these qualities is an ongoing process, but it sure has made it a lot easier to be me, because none of that is going anywhere. 🙂

    I have also learned to be more skillful about how I express them, too, and that’s made as much difference as anything. Being intense about the right things with the right people, controlling my tendency to know everything about everything and tell the world whether they asked for it or not, learning when NOT to disappear into my own navel (or anyone else’s)…now *that* has been energy well-spent, and where I will continue to put my time and focus.

    Awesome thoughts and discussion, as always in Bridge-landia!

  2. I sometimes exaggerate. I can be a know-it-all.
    I really, really don’t like it when people are mad at me.
    I sometimes get hyper focused on things and ignore important stuff (like my kids.)
    I love being with people.
    I love being alone.
    I really like it to look for commonalities.
    I just love all those things about me.

  3. I will always choose passion & risk over complacency & security.
    Planning ahead is not my forte.
    Given a choice to cook a meal or eat out, I’ll choose eat out 80% of the time.
    I’m an open book.
    I’m a high level optimist.

    That’s just me!

  4. I love this train of thought, Bridgette, thanks for bringing it up! I am a bewildering combination of wacky and orderly. I can see humor in just about anything, and I live outside the box. However, I don’t feel comfortable coloring outside the lines. My space needs to be orderly for me to feel calm. That translates into me straightening people’s pictures on their walls and cleaning off their counters. If I do this to you, it’s not a commentary on your housekeeping skills; it’s just me. And I love that about myself!

  5. i have a curious mind that just loves to hop from one interesting thing to another. some people say i’ve got ADD. i say “that’s just me”!

    (i love this, bridgette! it’s going right up into my top ten.. just like “i’m sorry; that doesn’t work for me”.)

  6. I’m at the stage of learning to tell the truth about what I really think and feel about me and others. I’ve lived a long time in believing my filtered thoughts rather than acknowledging the unvarnished truth. I am learning to be brave.

  7. Wow, your list is also my list…and some of those things are exactly some of the same things I’ve been feeling…bashful…(well, OK, I’ll admit it…ASHAMED) about very recently. How lovely to stumble across this post today and see that I’m not alone!

    I’ll also add that I’m extremely forgetful, have a terrible sense of direction, and get lost a lot. But that’s just me (and I’m kind of an adorable airhead! :))

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *