Hello readers! Here’s an update to The Maybe post–I promised I would keep you apprised.
Here’s what I learned about my time in The Maybe:
I knew exactly what I wanted.
It scared the living hell of out me.
I was living in The Maybe because I was not ready for The Truth.
There’s nothing bad about living in The Maybe, it’s necessary. It’s like standing at the top of the high dive before taking the plunge. Except you have no idea you’re on a high dive and you certainly don’t think you’re going to plunge. You’re more like, “Gee, it’s kinda windy and wobbly up here, and why the hell am I wearing a swimsuit?” You know you’re on the edge of something big, but you have no clue what it is.
The Maybe is the precursor to The Truth.
The Truth is the scary-yet-deeply-resonant thing right there in front of you that you don’t want to see. Maybe you’ve tried to make it go away. Maybe you’ve told yourself you were confused. Maybe you told yourself you shouldn’t have that thing. Maybe you said it’s not this thing–certainly not!–it’s this much easier-to-digest and socially acceptable thing over here. It’s most certainly not that wild thing–because if it is, there’s gonna be a shitstorm.
The Truth means big, scary changes.
The Truth sometimes means tears and heartbreak.
At the very least The Truth means much gnashing of teeth and sleepless nights.
The Truth is big, it’s disruptive, and it’s gonna bring all your crap up.
The Truth means not everyone is going to agree with or like you. Guaranteed.
The Truth is gnarly.
The Truth is not the easy way out.
By now you’re saying why the hell would I ever choose The Truth? Because.
The Truth also means deep joy and fulfillment.
The Truth means living authentically.
The Truth is full-on living.
The Truth means answering the call of who you are and what you’re supposed to do in the world.
The Truth is freedom.
When I stopped resisting The Maybe, The Truth became apparent. A note here for the gentle reader who might be quaking in her shoes: Just because you tell yourself The Truth does not mean you have to do a darn thing about it. Or that acting on your Truth looks like you think. What comes after telling yourself The Truth are The Insights; your marching orders for living your Truth. We try to access The Insights before we acknowledge The Truth–we want to know how before we know exactly what. In my experience it doesn’t work that way. You have to leap before you can know what the water feels like. I’m here to tell you, the water feels divine. And while it’s not always easy, I’m swimming just fine.
My truth involved a hummingbird tattoo.