The Wild Life

Messy, but soooo good.

I want to teach you how to live the wild life with faith and passion. This whole wild life business started for me in Africa in 2011. It was the end of Martha Beck’s STAR retreat and as we all sat in this beautiful circle that holds the intention of allowing all animals to again roam the African bushvedlt free from fences, I set the intention to live the wild life with faith and passion. As I said the words, I heard this deep yes within myself. Honestly, it just sounded good—I wanted a life with more adventure, less pedestrian—wild. And I wanted to remember to live it with faith that the Universe is conspiring in my favor. And passion, oh god I was dying to feel passion in all aspects of my life. I was parched for passion. Damn, I had no idea what I was asking for! The Universe did conspire in my favor and over the last year my entire life has gotten a lot wilder, let me tell you! It’s been the hardest year of my life, and I’ve felt more deeply connected to others and myself than I ever have and had more amazing experiences. I got exactly what I wanted. I just had no idea the delivery mechanism would kick my ass quite so much.

When you live the wild life, sometimes life will feel like it’s whomping on you. You’ll catch yourself saying, “I said I wanted to live the wild life, but SERIOUSLY?!?”. The wild life is not for powder puffs, you may lose faith and forget what you are passionate about along the way. Sometimes it will be really hard. Why the hell would you want to intentionally live the wild life you ask? Because life is inherently wild and the more we choose to hide or diminish ourselves, the more we will miss out on the true gifts of the highs and the lows. Life is happening. It’s going to keep happening with you fully in it or not. When you are willing to step into your truth, let go of what’s in your way, fall with faith that you will be caught, and begin to remember who you are and why you are here, you then also get those pinnacle experiences your heart’s been craving: passionate love, abiding friendships, meaningful work, super fun play, a spiritual connection that works for you, and most importantly, a deeply connected, unshakable relationship with you.

I want to teach you to not be afraid of you—that means opening to the entire range of emotions and experiences. Understanding that feeling anger, hurt, fear and especially discomfort is ok and totally part of essential you. You don’t have to freak out and think something is wrong with you when you feel that way. I want you to deeply know there is nothing wrong with you.

Here’s what you need to know about living the Wild Life

    1. You are Not Broken. I know your mind is now commencing to enumerate all the ways you are indeed broken. You are not. (Do you feel relief when you read this? Truth brings relief.) There is nothing wrong with you. You have all that you need right now—all the love, approval, wherewithal, fortitude, courage–everything. The self-help industry says we need to be fixed; I say we’re already whole. What we do is forget that we aren’t broken, and buy into some story that says we are, which results in broken-esque behaviors. You are not a problem that needs to be solved. Period.

 

    1. Subtract the Crap. Getting to the truth of you is not an additive process; it’s a subtractive one. It is a perpetual “unlearning.” It’s about subtracting the crapola that gunks up the connection to your authentic self: the crappy beliefs that don’t serve you, the constant dialogue of your inner meanie, and whatever you do to yourself that hurts. You don’t need to add to who you are to be ok, to be whole, to be connected, to be righteously kick-ass. As you peel away the crap that doesn’t serve you, you’ll find your shiny, whole self has been there all along.

 

    1. Declare a Truce.Lay down the weapons in the war with yourself. You can’t attack yourself thin, or hate yourself into happiness. Rather than living in the vagueness of shame–about your body, your relationships, your choices, your perceived mistakes–find kindness and compassion for yourself. Give yourself a fucking break. Stop the striving. You’re so kind to everyone else. It’s time to be kind to you.Showing yourself some love is an attitude, not an activity… and it is vital. You can’t drop 30 pounds in 30 days, and you can’t shift from self-loathing to self-loving at the flip of a mental switch. You won’t always love yourself, some days I still wake up and hate my thighs or worse, myself, but you and I can always return to love for ourselves. But know this: contrary to your mind’s opinion, beating yourself up is not motivational or effective. You can’t beat yourself into submission. Your higher self won’t have it. Ultimately it’s about love. And that’s your job.Self-love is not just bubble baths and pedicures, it’s choosing YOU over a box of Twinkies. Choosing YOU over pleasing your boss by staying late. Choosing YOU instead of a relationship that doesn’t serve. Choosing YOU over being what your parents expect you to be (even though you are 40+ years old). Choosing to love YOU over that part of you that thinks hating on you is a great idea. Choosing to receive love even when you think you have nothing to give.

 

    1. You are a Mystic.There’s a new mysticism in town–and it’s not about sitting in a monastery OM’ing until your butt goes numb. It’s about presence. And hilarity. And irreverence. And fun. And delight. And this moment. It’s about the big profound things: knowing (and more importantly, feeling) we are all connected, you are not alone, the Universe is conspiring in your favor, your higher self is available to help you, and we are here to be the fullest expression of ourselves. By saving ourselves, we can help save the world.

 

  1. Come Out
    Be who you are. Be bold, audacious, passionate (please!), juvenile, silly, sexy. Be gay, straight or neither. Be an accountant, a stripper, a life coach—or an accountant/stripper/life coach. You are not too much. Turn up your wattage to maximum and shine baby. I’ll be right here cheering you on, because you were born to make waves and I know you are dying to cannonball.