In my early personal development days, I attended a workshop where the leader breathlessly asked, “What do you want?” It was the heyday of the law of attraction where you had to know what you wanted (and you’d better dream big!) or you were forever condemned to manifest a life of vague mediocrity. Wah-wah.
I didn’t know what I wanted. The question froze me. I journaled furiously for pages and pages, asking myself, “Why can’t I figure out what I want? What’s wrong with me?” Was I too afraid to “claim my power” as the workshop leader said? Was I not thinking big enough?
It only took me about 10 years to figure out I was going about it entirely backward.
How can I know what I want before I understand who I am?
Once I freed myself from the exhausting need to have some big desire that I then had to manifest, I started noticing what made me tick: I like growing lettuce. I like reading books. I love my friends. Astrology is cool. I have an intense dislike of pretension.
It wasn't the big wants that were going to make me happy, it was all the simple things.
When I stopped worrying about the bigger questions and started getting to know myself, kernels of bigger ideas dropped in: I want to write a book (or three). I want to create products and services that help people. I want to keep learning and growing. I want to love myself and my people. I want to have some damn fun.
I don’t need to know where it’s all going or even how to get there, I just need to know what makes me tick and follow that.
If you’d like to explore what makes you tick, let me give you a few tips on how to begin:
- Grab a Journal: Instead of asking yourself questions you can’t answer, try these below. You can take notes on your phone, but know that there is magic (and brain science) to writing by hand.
- Start Small: What’s pleasing around you right now? Music, a lovely cup of tea or coffee, your favorite sweats? Keep it small and simple.
- Your Attention: What grabs it? What’s important to you?
- You: Think of yourself as a houseplant. Under what conditions do you thrive? What do you need to be nourished?
- Whatever the hell else you want to add: This is your exploration. You get to decide who you are. Hint: Instead of trying to change yourself, accept yourself.
Here's to all that makes you tick,
Hey!
